Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
