It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I had to cum in my sink.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
