He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You need Xanax blowdarts
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
