She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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