The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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