Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
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