Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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