YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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