this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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