Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent