I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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