Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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