I've blown a few things in my day
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
