Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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