Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
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Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
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If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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