Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
