The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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