haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
