I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
