I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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