id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
pray to the hookup gods
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
