before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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