the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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