We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
