We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
