I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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