he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
