It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
