ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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