She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
