Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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