Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize