Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
