This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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