The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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