the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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