does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
