You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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