I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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