What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
