Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize