Having a random hookup so left but love u
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
