dude i'm inner monologue high
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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