dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
