My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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