Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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