I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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