i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize