What did we do last night that was yellow?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I will be naked everywhere
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
