I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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