Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
