Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Come share oat with me in your robe
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