OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
