Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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