I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
