Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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