i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
