I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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