You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
