He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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