my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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